Sunday, June 22, 2014

June Crusade Plot Bunny #4: Son of Atlantus

My fourth plot bunny for the June Crusade.  I decided that all of my plot bunnies this month will be from the world of Quivira.  I had a few others I thought about posting, but I'll save those for another time.

Son of Atlantus

    What do you do when you are an only son with nine sisters, a mother who is the Queen of Atlantus and women outnumber men three to one in your country?
    Why, wreak as much mischievous havoc as possible of course!
    With his best friends Noa and Akamu, Makana is constantly in trouble for one prank after anther.  His parents despair of him ever maturing into a responsible young man and most of his sisters are frankly ready to ship him to the ends of the earth.
    But if the land of Atlantus breeds strong women, no less does it breed strong men.  There is a time for play and a time for work.  Makana’s time to work will come sooner than he thinks and he will have to prove he is a worthy son of Atlantus... or face a fate worse than death.

The first scene:

    “Makana Kaleo Pali!” the shrill, girlish shout rang through the palace halls for the third time in two hours.
    Mocking laughter answered it.
    “You just wait!” Princess Kakalina stormed out of her bedroom and yelled down the hall in the direction her brother had disappeared.  “When Momo hears what you’ve done now, you’ll be in the ocean depths for sure!”
    “Tattletale,” he retorted.
    “Monster!” she flung back.
    “Fussbaby,” he taunted over his shoulder, diving out the door and onto the lawn.
    His best friend Noa popped around the corner, “In trouble again?”
    “Sorta kinda.”
    Noa raised his eyebrows, clearly waiting for an explanation.
    “I’m in trouble with Kakalina, but not with Momo.  Yet.
    Noa shook his head, “You’re brimful of it today.  Fancy a trip to the Crimson Cove?”
    “You betcha!” Makana sprang up.  “I’ll get Akamu.”
    “Then I’ll fetch some snacks for us,” Noa turned toward the kitchens.  His cousin was a cook there and she would willingly give him a generous portion of food for the three of them.
    Ten minutes later the three best friends met at the further end of the palace.  As they started down the beach, a voice called Makana’s name from inside the palace.
    “Should we stop?” Akamu asked.
    Makana cocked his head, “Naw.  It was Aunt Malie and I’m not going back to listen to her lecture.  Kakalina prob’ly complained to her if Momo was busy.”  He took off running, “Race you to the Misty Cliff!”

    From a covered balcony, two young women watched the young men race up the beach.
    “I’m beginning to agree with our parents.  He will never grow up,” Princess Haunani shook her head disapprovingly.
    “Give him more time,” her sister Lilinoe urged.
    “Time?!  He’s nineteen now.  Past time for him to become a man,” Haunani sighed.  “Would to the sky something would happen to show him life is not all play.”
    Lilinoe turned to go back inside, “Be careful what you wish for.”  Her words were as quiet as the gentle breeze that whispered past the balcony.

To join in the June Crusade, visit Anne's blog.

Miss Melody Muffin


  1. SO INTERESTED!!!!! This story is going to be marvelous! I just know it!! The snippet is fantastic!

    Odd -- I just posted a plot bunny about a hero who's similar to your Makana. I don't think we should ever allow them to visit each other. *wiggles eyebrows* We could be in trouble.

    But this idea... I love it!! Did I mention that before?

  2. OHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Can't wait to read more!!!!!


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