Friday, June 24, 2016

Death More Than Usual; Or, Random Mirrody Conversations #2

[For #1, see this post.]

One of my favorite parts of every day is chatting with my best friend, MuseTwin, and soulsister Mirriam.  Our conversations zigzag from history ('The Ptolemies made the Lannisters look normal') to philosophy ('If people won't learn, they deserve to be ruled by those who do learn') to every other subject under the sun.  She's always up for whatever bizarre topic I throw at her and many and varied are the discussions which make up the mosaic of our friendship.  A few nights ago I came online after supper and a conversation ensued which had each of us laughing harder than we have in a while.  I present the conversation here for your amusement, with a few minor rearrangements made for better reading flow.


Me: Just finished dinner, which was a hilarious meal.

Mirriam: Why was dinner hilarious??
 
Me: Because it consisted of (among other things) beginning a discussion on hanging vs burning alive as the least desirable method of death with my 12-year-old brother- which was quickly shut down by Erudessa (my sister) because APPARENTLY some people don't like to discuss that kind of thing over dinner. Go figure.

Mirriam: What is wRONG with hER?  THIS IS THE BEST DINNER CONVERSATION xD

Me: RIGHT? So boring.

Mirriam: Also, I've thought about it multiple times and I would much rather be hung, thank you.

Me: I'd rather be hung, too. There is only type of death that I find more gruesome than hanging and it's being burned alive.  But if I get to choose the way I go, it's poison or firing squad.

Mirriam: SEE FOR ME HANGING IS LIKE. A GOOD WAY TO GO. HANGING IS A+ compared to things like burning alive or the iron maiden or skinned alive or dismembered by four horses etc.

Me: Well, when you put it like that, it is definitely an attractive option.

Mirriam: That's my thought.  
I mean, poison + firing squad are definitely the best, but hanging is a pretty decent way to go
.  comparatively.
  Particularly if your neck snaps. xD

Me: Exactly. The main reason I find hanging rather distasteful, as far as manners of expiration go, is because I dislike the struggle if the neck does not snap.

Mirriam: True; I'd rather not slowly suffocate while my insides burst, /but/ I would rather suffocate than, say, be crucified. I mean honestly I've thought about this quite a lot and hanging is in the second-best death category, after firing squad or poison.


Me: I've thought about it, too, though not usually including more medieval forms of death. But in light of those supposedly less 'civilized' kinds of death, I would place hanging in third best, I think. Second best would be having my throat cut.


Mirriam: How did we get onto this subject again?

Me: Because it's JuNo and our thoughts run to death more than usual.

Mirriam: TRUE.  I would say it depends on where the throat is cut, because it can be either immediate and painless, or you can drown in your own blood; soooooooo it would all depend. xD


Me:  Exactly. Depending on WHERE it was cut, it would be my second favorite death. Though hanging is certainly looking more attractive by the minute.

Mirriam: I'm trying to bring hanging back as a method of swift justice XD

Me: There is definitely something poetic about a rope noose, or a necktie party.  My stomach is very full and is starting to slightly ache with how hard I'm laughing.

Mirriam: I'm sorry I can't help you I'm laughing too xDDDD

Me: *SHAKY HIGH FIVE BECAUSE I'M LAUGHING SO HARD*

Mirriam: Here I was like 'ah yes all showered, all clean, got coffee, time to settle down and do a little quiet writing'.

Me: And then I burst onto the stage.

Mirriam: DEATH! mAYHEM! mURDER!

Me: Resplendent in bloody philosophical glory.

Mirriam: This conversation is Ferdinand + Isabella approved.


10 comments:

  1. I remember going to an Ink and Blood (history of the Bible) program which explained that executioners granted William Tyndale the "mercy" of having his neck broken before the burning . . . because it take take several days for burning victims to die . . . which means its torture.

    Also, while even a prolonged hanging (not everyone is efficient) is comparatively less pain, it is NOT a dignified death; those being hanged (thank-you Sherlock for your grammar lesson) lost control of their entrails with disgusting, degrading consequences. This from my British history professor. I do not even remember exactly where this fell in the history or the exact context, but I sure didn't forget that.

    Also, another method of death (history people have creepy death conversations as do writers and I just finished reading about Puritan Massachusetts), pressing people with stones (and yet the Puritans still are better to me than the vile Virginians, I am not a Northerner BTW).

    And if poison is the fast acting American Hemlock yes, apparently the European takes longer, but still 30".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All of which are reasons I'd prefer a firing squad. :)

      Delete
  2. ... Melody.

    Though, to be honest, poison can be a toss-up. Some poisons are fast acting and you'll die in your sleep. Others will burn you alive inside. So ... Please be specific on poison.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *laughing* Perfectly harmless conversation.

      True, true, various poisons would be lower on my list than first place.

      Delete
  3. Why did I shut the conversation down Mirriam? Because it was THE DINNER TABLE and I was not about the listen to the gruesome details of hanging vs. burning while I was trying to eat! Not to mention it isn't really a topic you should discuss (IMO) around 5 and 7 year olds!! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Such gentility. I'm glad one of us has it. <3 :D

      Delete
    2. Erudessa, my sister does exactly the same thing when similar topics come up at supper (I can't say this exact topic has before), and she's fifteen and the youngest in the house, so I don't think such qualms are relegated to houses where 5- and 7-year-olds live.

      Delete
  4. A certain quote comes to mind: "There is no merciful way to kill; no gentle way to destroy"...or something like that...?

    *Is grossed out now*

    'Bye.
    ~Sissy~
    ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *grinning* Excellent quote, m'dear.

      I hope you're not TOO grossed out. :) <3

      Delete
  5. I love you two. XD

    And I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has put great thought and effort into the easiest way to be killed. I'd DEFINITELY vote for being hanged over burned alive. Though as far as none primitive ways, the firing squad would be first choice for sure.

    ReplyDelete

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